Dating your spouse is fun. It is also opportunity for being intentional about creating connection with one another. Connection helps foster greater intimacy between you and your spouse. This keeps your marriage alive and thriving.
There are 5 kinds of intimacy that couples experience; Spiritual, Emotional, Recreational, Physical and Intellectual. Each kind of intimacy compliments the other and helps grow your marriage.
Making time to spend with one another doesn’t have to be extravagant or expensive. Here are 5 simple Winter date ideas that use the 5 intimacies. These ideas are designed to nurture connectivity and help grow a deeper, more intimate, relationship with your spouse.
Recreational Intimacy: Winter Night Sledding
If you are fortunate to have snow on the ground this Winter, night sledding is for you! Who says sledding is just for kids?! Grab your kiddo’s sled and get outside!
Recreational Intimacy is important for your relationship. It is wise to have an active date every so often. Couples who play together, stay together.
Endorphins play a huge role in our emotional wellness and happiness. When physically active, your body produces more endorphins and, as a result, you will just feel happier. You also will have more interest in sex.
Physical Intimacy: Essential Oil Massages & Wine
Speaking of sex…
Have you ever used essential oils? One oil with several testimonials of effectiveness in raising a female’s libido is Ylang Ylang. Pour your spouse a glass of wine, grab the massage oil, add a drop of Ylang Ylang, and give your spouse a massage. Massages help release stress and tension after a busy day. Plus, it just might lead to something more physical. 🙂
*Cue the music: brown-chicken-brown-cow*
Having physical intimacy is vital to the health of your marriage. You cannot have a healthy relationship without it. There’s a reason they call it “making love.” It’s the most meaningful way to express love for your spouse.
Lovemaking comforts as it helps to release tension. God is ingenious in his design of sexual relationships. Sex can create life as well as experience one-flesh intimacy. Sex also brings deep pleasure and comfort in times of stress.
Emotional Intimacy: Bedside Vision Casting Over a Pint
Perhaps your emotional intimacy tank is low? Emotional intimacy is built upon trust. Having trust in your relationship is integral to growing in intimacy.
Trusting one another with your emotions comes from sharing your deepest hopes and dreams. Our hopes and dreams change and evolve over time. The hopes and dreams I had for myself now are very different from what they were 12 years ago.
One of our favorite dates is an early bedtime to snuggle and vision cast. Sometimes we bring a special snack, like ice cream, to bed and share a pint over conversation.
During this time we share our hopes and dreams. Our fears. Our failures. Our worries. In sharing these ideas and thoughts we are invested by being vulnerable. We use this time to encourage one another toward our dreams.
After a time such as this I feel very close to my husband…which usually leads back to physical intimacy. 🙂
Intellectual Intimacy: Read a Book Together-Movie Night In
is a nerd is very knowledgeable in many things. We enjoy conversations about high-level subjects such as theology. One of the catalysts we use for these kinds of conversations is reading a book together or watching a thought-provoking movie.
We recently read an advance copy of a friend’s book , Free to Love, together. It challenged us both for different reasons. It provoked a deep conversation as well as some intense debate. It can be exciting to agree (and sometimes disagree) while having a meaningful and challenging conversation with one another.
Having conversations like this helps grow us closer together. It helps to already have made an emotional investment in one another. This allows us the ability to convey what we are thinking, confident that whatever we say or think will be valued.
Spiritual Intimacy: Hot Cocoa and Worship Music at the Fire Pit
Perhaps one of the most vulnerable moments we experience with our spouse is when we pray and worship together. If you have a fire pit, try gathering outside on a cold evening with a cocoa or tea, perhaps a guitar if one of you plays, (or a smart phone with Pandora like us) and worship together. During worship you can pray together and for each other. There is power in praying together.
Spiritual Intimacy is important to your relationship because it nurtures trust built between you and your spouse. Also between both of you and God. Building up our spiritual intimacy with one another assures you are both focused on Christ. This engenders ultimate unity in a marriage relationship. Being focused on Christ, together, (in my opinion) is THE definition of a power couple.
“And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.” Ecclesiastes 4:12
Sometimes we think of dating as just having a fun experience together, but we can be intentional in how we spend our time together to grow connection between us. Next time you think about how you can date your spouse maybe try one of these intentional date nights to nurture intimacy in your marriage.
Questions to Ask Yourself (and your spouse):
What was the last recreational date my spouse and I had together?
How is the Physical Intimacy in our marriage? Is this an area I struggle? Why?
Do I trust my spouse? How does this affect the emotional and spiritual intimacy in our marriage?
Can my spouse and I have an intellectual conversation without one of us feeling shamed or our thoughts disvalued?